Goat Simulator: The Good, the Better, and the Amazing

Goat Simulator is technically a third person simulator where you play as a Goat.

It’s made by Coffee Stain Studios, who are also known for Sanctum. Goat Simulator is really a Goat RPG (Rampage Parody Game), and with the addition that is Goat MMO Simulator it just got better – it’s not a real MMO as the game scripts the chat, but it does a good job at simulating an MMO.

Lick, Flip, Flap, Fly, Fling and Flop

The most fundamental parts of Goat Simulator are lick, jump, ragdoll and headbutt. Like Ronseal they do exactly what they say on the tin. Each of these are fun to use on their own, but using them together is where the ensuring hilarity comes from. Licking in Goat Simulator is not like in real life, instead whatever you lick gets stuck to your tongue, you now drag it around with you where ever you go.

I goat the car. Now to hang on via tongue for deer life.

One thing Goat Simulator has bucket loads of is fun. Stupid dumb fun, you will laugh at everything. Anything you do in Goat Simulator is comical, even the celebrated bugs, of which there are many – although, no game breaking bugs.

Playgrounds

I would love to call each area a level, or a map, but that would be doing a disservice to the game. I have opted to call each area a playground, because that is exactly what they are.

Goatville

This is the original playground of the game, it’s set in a suburban town. There are fields, houses, a construction site, a warehouse and even Coffee Stain Studios’ office. Each of these area has different activities you can do, or items to collect so you can kit out your Goat. For example the construction site has a jet pack, which is uncontrollable to say the least. You can even become Queen of the Goats by sitting on The Infernal Throne.

The Infernal Thrown room.

Goat City Bay

Added in the first major update to the game, Goat Bay City is a city on the sea-side. There are tall buildings, a small pier amusement park with Ferris wheel, several shops and a river running through the middle. Again each area has different activities. Ride the Ferris wheel, or go into one the tall buildings, ride the lift (or elevator) to the top floor and have a little rave. When bored attack the DJ to gain a Deadmau5 inspired hat. You are now granted the ability to make everyone party on request.

The stunning Sun shimmering on the satin sea.

Goat MMO Simulator

Added with the second major update to the game. It’s a fantasy style setting, with the standard MMO questing, classes, and action bar. There is even a pretty good simulation of text chat in MMOs. Catapult yourself, made the dodos extinct, or infiltrate the enemy strong hold, these are ‘pretty standard’ for an MMO but doing them as a Goat makes them a bit more… special.

These are the classes in Goat Simulator (click for larger image).

Goat Sim is Fun

It really doesn’t matter about where you are, or what you can do, Goat Simulator is just hilarious fun. With nods to other games, TV series, films, books, people, and anything else just add to the comedy.

Guess who these are.

I am intentionally stopping here and not telling you everything about Goat Simulator – most of the enjoyment here comes from the fun of discovery and experimentation. What can your goat do?

Conclusion

From the wonky physics and catchy music to the over the top sound effects and the silly dialogue, everything in Goat Simulator will make you smile – at the very least. It’s a game which doesn’t take it’s self seriously, at all, and there is no story except the one you make. It dumps you in a sandbox and tells you to go play.

Goat Simulator doesn’t need any thought to play, but does require some skill. Controlling your Goat is pure fun, and almost always very funny – even the patch notes are comedy gold.

I want to emphasise the spirit of the game by sharing two quotes by Armin Ibrisagic, the Game Designer and PR Manager on Goat Simulator at Coffee Stain Studios:

“The game play was inspired by old school skating games, like Tony Hawk’s Pro Stater. Except instead of being a skater you’re a goat, and instead of doing tricks you make people angry.”

“I love this game, it’s my dumbest idea, but also by far it’s my most fun idea.”

Explore, smash, sore and explode your way to stitches, as Goat Simulator will have you bahh-king mad while you play.

The physics in Goat Simulator never go wrong…