A few months back we looked at some of the most bizarre NSFW games out there that just truly stretched credulity that developers would actually make anything that insane.
Personally, I’m still massively anticipating Genital Jousting and will fight anyone who says that game doesn’t look amazing. We all want Slither.io with genitals, right?
It should go without saying that previous list was of course incomplete, as the Internet will always provide more absurdity than anyone can possibly handle, so we’re back for round two, collecting five different games that will break your brain with their NSFW content.
The Tearoom
Robert Yang, the unsung gaming hero behind dick pic simulator Cobra Club and the all-male shower time fun of Rinse And Repeat, returns for even more bathroom shenanigans with upcoming game The Tearoom.
For those not in the know, yes, that’s a euphemism for the bathroom, and this game’s all about cruising them for dudes, and of course taking a leak first.
My first concern was whether 3D urinal technology had managed to advance far enough for this game to be worth playing. Lest anyone think it won’t be realistic enough, Yang assures us in a recent blog post:
I wanted the bathroom to feel old, so I did some research on old vintage public bathrooms — and the Hinsdale urinals are widely acknowledged to be the supreme “Cadillac of drop urinals” so here they are. The bathroom itself is inspired by the bathroom in Old Town Bar in Manhattan.
Phew, thanks for putting our minds at ease Robert! No word yet on an official release date. I know that’s gonna frustrate a lot of folks as anticipation for this title is massively high. Sorry guys.
Any engineer’s dream come true!
Gal Gun
Point and click… to make Japanese teen girls experience sudden orgasm. See if you can score the coveted Ecstasy Shot in this on-rails shooter!
Why are you doing all this? Because you’ve become irresistible to all women and the only way to keep them away is to blast them with pheromone shots. Makes sense, right? There’s also tentacles involved and some sort of story about finding your true love before time runs out.
The weirdest thing about this is that’s not even particularly sexual (other than perhaps the noises made). They don’t get naked. They don’t have sex after you shoot ’em. They just have an unexpected good time in their undies and then you move on to shooting someone else.
Legitimate question: is this game’s protagonist a good Samaritan out to spread happiness and joy, or just a long-distance rapist?
The sequel, Gal Gun: Double Peace also has you fending off the constant advances of every schoolgirl in the world after being shot by Cupid’s arrow. It’s available on Steam if that sounds like a good time to you.
Accounting
This one’s NSFW for very different reasons than you’d expect, as this is a game you will not want to play while under the influence of anything mind-altering.
From the creators of Rick And Morty comes a nightmarish adventure through an insane virtual accounting hellscape. Just how bizarre is this utterly foul-mouthed and very graphically violent game? The official description reads:
The modern field of Accountancy is a serious and honorable profession. Many human beings have spent their lives toiling over the hard science of numbers. Thousands have died so that we may get to the level of understanding that we have today. Thousands have died.
Worst of all? This is a VR-only game, so you really will experience it all first hand. Thanks, but no thanks, I don’t want my brains to ooze out my ears. If you’re made of stronger stuff than I and have a VR rig, you can get it for free at Steam here.
Sonic Dreams Collection
If you love Sonic, then please stay far, far away from this fan-made game. There are terrors currently unknown to your innocent mind to be discovered here. The whole thing is just bizarre beyond belief, but one segment in particular may pique your interest called “Sonic Movie Maker.”
Cool – you’re naively thinking right now – I get to make my own movies with Sonic and Tails! Yes, you do, but they are those kinds of movies, involving a lot of writhing around in bed while anime hearts fly across the screen.
Criminal Girls
This one’s basically any given Japanese 2D RPG for a handheld console, but with a rather unexpected mini-game twist: you’ve got to spank the temptation out of girls to upgrade them so they are more efficient in combat.
The gameplay was edited down to cull out some of the most risque elements for the North American version, which came to the Vita and Steam under the title Criminal Girls: Invite Only.
Weirdly, the changes don’t really make a lot of sense, as all they did was remove the sounds when the girls are smacked and then cover the screen in a pink filter that doesn’t particularly hide much.
Alright, it’s confession time: who’s all hot and bothered, and who instead needs to shower the filth off after checking out these bizarrely NSFW video games?
If you know of any other truly weird and offbeat NSFW games that need to be on our radar, be sure to let us know in the comments section!
Published: Oct 18, 2016 01:01 pm