Dear Santa, it’s Jay again..

Hi Santa, I really need all this stuff this year. I know other years you never got me what I wanted, but I was hoping this year you could. I really want to be as cool as the other kids so they stop making fun of me. My sister moved in with her dad, and mom’s got a new BF that doesn’t put up with no crap, so I’ve been really good this year, I promise! I swear I didn’t know the dog was not allowed to share my halloween chocolatte. He really liked it before he went to sleep…

Ok so, I want…

I want an iphone so I can be a hipster like my sister, and call her once in a while. Mom’s BF broke our phone when he tried to wake up the dog with it. He said the dog would be better off, but he just kept sleeping..

I would also like a mac laptop so I can sit in coffee shops, and look as cool as the other hipsters listening to those ebooks on how to be a better vegan. My sister says it’s suppose to taste that way. I guess tasteless is better then those packets mom steals from Mcdonalds, and puts on crackers. I’m so sick of ketchup, and mustard snacks..

Can I also get some skinny jeans. My step dad says there to ensure you can never have children, and am constantly chaffing? I guess that’s a good thing, cause everyone’s wearing them. I have no idea why, but apparently I need lube for my anus with those? Whats lube, and whats an anus?

 I need a really big scarf. A really thin one though. Make sure its so thin cold air passes right through it, and long enough that if I turn it around I can use it as a cape!! And if you can find one with mickey mouse on it, that would be the bee’s knee’s! The bee’s knee’s means something is cool. My sister taught me that!! She’s such a cool hipster!!

anyways, I think that’s all it takes to be a hipster, which will make me cool! I can’t wait!

Your the bee’s knee’s too Santa! Tell Mrs Clause I think she’s the best bitch ever!