Dear Dr.SantyClaus

I am frustrated santa… oh so frustrated, i feel after years of betrayal you are not even receiving my letters. The numerous attempts i have made to contact you in that god forsaken north pole, just to ask… do you really endorse coca cola? Becuase that used to have cocaine in good sir! That is most certainly not good for the kids!

By the way, you left $1000 behind but if you’re popping over with ol’sled then you could just climb down the old chimney and give it to me, if you’re feeling generous this year and want to make up all of the unread letters.

Yours merrily, Graham of the French clan.