You see, above all is my love of Pokemon. I’ve spent hours, days, weeks thinking about and debating Pokemon. I’ve compiled so many lists of them out of boredom I’m this close to questioning what I’m doing with my life and calling my mom to have the “I think I have a problem..” talk. Surely she would understand.
Naturally, one of the most important lists I had a good think over was which Pokemon were the cutest. I try to avoid looking at stats when I make my personal lists because all that jazz is — frankly — a bit boring. I’ll sit there and think about which Pokemon are best for battle when playing the game, not when I’m just trying to have fun with them.
I’ve mulled over all 649 for too long not to feel a bit sick when pinning the 10 cutest Pokemon. For one, it’s difficult because there are so many cute ones. For two, so many bright colors, big eyes, and fluffy fuzzy bodies are giving me some sort of mental diabetes. Terrible and fake mental diabetes led only to the title of this list. You know how it is, baby.
This list is of my opinions. You are obviously free to disagree, but these 10 Pokecute Pokemon are my fake scientifically proven winners.
10. Skitty
I don’t like this Pokemon, but it’s adorable and there is nothing I nor you can do about it. Skitty narrowly beat out Eevee in this list, and won on the merits of her blob-ish body and giant ball-shaped head alone. She’s just so cute!
In a way, Skitty’s body reminds me of cotton candy. I suppose if I had the chance I’d lick one if I saw it in the wild. I wonder what they taste like.
9. Mareep
While some say Mareep has soulless eyes, I say it has the perfect eyes to stare into for hours on end. What is Mareep thinking? Is it hungry? Who knows! That adorable fluffy body, orb-ended tail, ear cones, and tiny feet are too much for me.
Mareep may have been introduced all the way back in Gold/Silver, but its design has stood the test of time in terms of “D’awwww.” I would decidedly not want to eat Mareep.
8. Whimsicott
I see Whimsicott and I think of wool, like touching a sheep made of pure joy and fluffy goodness. On top of looking like a giant cotton ball, Whimsicott just looks so darn happy. I know I won’t be getting electrocuted, eaten, or brutally beaten if I go in to get a hug because it is just that joyous.
I might eat it if given the chance.
7. Combee
Tell me, friends: what is better than a Pokemon with a smiling face? One with three smiling faces! Duh, jeez. It’s like I have to tell you everything.
Combee’s three-face combo is its biggest strength in this comparison of cuties and is exactly what landed it 7th place out of all 649 Pokemon. It maybe could have been even higher up, but the Pokemon ahead all have their own strengths that overshadow Combee’s face trifecta.
I might lick a Combee to see what it tastes like but I don’t think I could eat something comprised of three faces so happy.
6. Cubchoo
You just can’t argue on how cute Cubchoo is, even if hugging it may lead to getting that giant snot gloop getting all over your shirt. Everything about this design is engineered to hit that spot where you just want to take it home and give it a hot meal along with lots of hugs.
You can bet I would eat Cubchoo. This sounds odd since I said I’d like to take care of it, but I most certainly wouldn’t turn it down if prepared for me. Bear meat might be tasty.
5. Cherrim’s Sunshine Form
Is it the color scheme? Petals? Tiny limbs? Giant, smiling face? All of the above, as Cherrim’s Sunshine form takes the 5th spot in this list! Cherrim could be listed in the dictionary under the word “cute”. It is just that cute and there is no convincing me otherwise.
Its petals may make for a great tea, but I would assume Cherrim is otherwise inedible. At least I hope so.
4. Clefairy
Any list of cute Pokemon worth its hubris will include Clefairy, Clefable, or Cleffa. This one includes Clefairy because it is infinitely cuter than the other two and there is no arguing this fact. Come at me if you disagree, but you are wrong. Clefairy is the best.
Clefairy has cute down to a science with those rosy cheeks, swirly hair (?), and big ears. Clefable just looks like Clefairy went through puberty and got fat.
No, I wouldn’t eat it. This Pokemon is on my official “Do Not Eat” list.
3. Shaymin’s Land form
I never asked for a legendary that looks like a hedgehog with grass and flowers instead of quills, but dammit I got it and I can’t complain.
If I could get a pet Shaymin in real life, I would treat it well and teach it how to do back flips. The mere thought of a Shaymin doing backflips leaves me absolutely delighted. I can get behind that, why aren’t scientists around the world trying to breed a real one? Get with the times, science. I want to eat train one of my own.
2. Manaphy
Manaphy looks like a tear drop infused with pure joy. Even better is its resemblance to Chaos from the Sonic Adventure games, which only adds to the collective pool of “Reasons Manaphy is Adorable.”
I mean, just look at it. Is it any surprise Manaphy made it to the number 2 spot with little to no effort? I feel like if I tried to eat it, I’d be condemned to Hell and sent there on the spot. Who would try to harm this legendary bundle of joy?
1. Chinccino
Cinccino is so forgettable aside from how damn cute it is. Sometimes I feel like Ken Sugimori held repeated meetings with 12-year-old girls to come up with what they feel the ultimate in cute could be, and then came up with Cinccino on a particularly dark day in his life.
Maybe it’s the fluffy fur that covers its backside and covers its neck like a scarf. Perhaps it’s the giant ears or the big, deep, soulful eyes. I don’t know, but there is just something about Cinccino that almost overwhelms the rest with how cute it is.
And you can bet I would at least eat a Cinccino steak, maybe with a side of asparagus or something. We’re looking at the cutest of the cute here. Are you saying you wouldn’t want to know what it tastes like? No one likes a liar, buddy.
[Image sources: PokemonDB and Bulbagarden]
Published: Jul 22, 2013 01:47 pm