They say good things come in threes, so I'm rounding off my trio of video game music lists (Stop and Hear the Music and Waxing Lyrical) with some fun.
We've seen how game music can be moving, epic and interesting; now I give you 10 video game songs that will make you laugh with their ridiculousness, offensiveness and hilariousness!
If you need a reminder that games can still be weird and irreverent, look no further than these beauties.
The Tale of the Nuckelavee (The Bard's Tale)
I'm so thankful for this game's existence.
The PS2-era classic The Bard's Tale is one of the funniest games to ever grace the world. Focusing on a disapproving narrator and a sarcastic Bard who is more interested in alcohol and sex than heroism, the game parodies fantasy RPGs and is full of laugh-out-loud moments.
The Bard's Tale is littered with comical songs; including a celebration of beer and the unforgettable "It's Bad Luck To Be You". And who can forget "Here's To The Bard", sung by a hall of Viking warriors hurling insults at The Bard for his blunders.
"The Tale of the Nuckelavee" is one of the funniest gaming songs of all though. Not only are its lyrics hilarious and pointed, but its circumstance makes it all the more hilarious. The group sings a raging song about the evil Nuckelavee and make some less-than-polite comments about the unknown man who set the beast free.
And who might that "dimwit", "asshole", "ox-head" be? Well none other than The Bard himself of course!
Best Line: "And if they ever should find the fool, We'll hang him upside down by his tool..."
The Great Mighty Poo (Conker's Bad Fur Day)
Conker's Bad Fur Day is the king of low-brow humor. The potty-mouthed squirrel meets his match, however, when he encounters this defecation debacle.
A giant, sentient poo makes for a memorable boss battle as he spouts an incredulously hilarious operatic performance whilst Conker must dodge the disgusting projectiles aimed his way, launching toilet paper at the poo before flushing him down the drain.
It's rude toilet humor at its most potent, and for better or worse is certainly a one-of-a-kind gaming experience.
Best Line: "Sweetcorn is the only thing that makes it through my rear, How do you think I keep this lovely grin?"
All Master's Rap (Parappa The Rapper)
Parappa The Rapper is a game that's full of bonkers scenarios and strange raps. The Bathroom Rap has to take the cake as the weirdest though.
Featuring a whole host of the game's characters all desperate for the toilet, our titular rapper must take each one on in a rap battle with the highest stakes imaginable -- getting one step closer to the bathroom.
What could better sum up the artistry of rap music than that...?
Best Line: "In the rain or in the snow, I got the funky flow, but now I really gotta go."
DK Rap (Donkey Kong 64)
This one is more funny for its cringe value than anything. Hearing the DK Rap song is a real pinch-yourself moment. Is this all a dream? A spoof? Nope, it's Donkey Kong 64.
The DK Rap is what would happen if Run DMC lost all their talent and decided to write video game music. It's one of the worst game songs, but hell if it isn't hilarious for it.
Best Line: "Come on Cranky, Take it to the fridge..."
There's A Zombie On Your Lawn (Plants vs. Zombies)
The end credits song for Plants vs. Zombies is annoyingly catchy and amusing. A singing sunflower reflects on the cholesterol value of brains and gathering an army of flora to take on the undead.
It's silly, it's funny and oh, there's a zombie on your lawn!
Best Line: "Road cones protect my head."
End Credits (God Hand)
This song is wondrous. Its huge charisma is matched only by its ginormous ridiculousness. It talks about using the crazy power of the God Hand to dish out "ball buster" punches (ouch) and to work out your stress (come again?!). The video features the game's characters busting out some funky dance moves, interwoven with wonderfully insane scenes from the game.
Best Line: "Dragonkick your ass into the Milky Way (Milky Waaay)."
Oh No You Didn't (Mercenaries 2)
In a world of mercenaries where money is the only thing that matters, there can be few things worse than failing to pay what you owe.
This song is a side-splitter for so many reasons, but most of all is the contrast of violent lyrics with upbeat and simple musical style topped with silly falsetto and vocal harmonies.
Best Line: "First you try to trap me, then you bust a cap in my ass (Oh no you didn't!)."
Scientist Salarian (Mass Effect 2)
This is not only one of the funniest moments in the Mass Effect series, but unlike most attempts at game humor, it also manages to be heartwarming and characterful.
It shows us another side to everyone's favorite Salarian, as Mordin sings Gilbert and Sullivan with a big smile on his face. This scene really brought Mordin into our hearts, but was also so unexpected and entertaining that it deserves its place on this list.
Best Line: "I'm quite good at genetics as a subset of biology, Because I am an expert which I know is a tautology."
Philistine (No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle)
Another over-the-top game with a deservingly entertaining soundtrack!
"Philistine" is the theme song for a boss battle with Margaret Moonlight, who sings it as the last thing her enemies ever hear. It's also full of her slinging insults at hero Travis -- calling him a "geek", a "bore" and of course a "goddamn philistine!"
Best Line: "Thigh high socks are my absolute territory, Go on and drool, the Otaku cannot resist."
Rick's Adventure Music (Portal 2)
The Portal series had to feature on this list, right?!
This unmatched masterpiece is short and sweet, and manages to parody a huge swathe of music in such a small time that it never fails to make me chuckle.
Rick the Adventure Sphere is a fantastic character, and his adventure song is as memorable as anything from Portal 2. It's even funnier when you realize that Rick is voiced by the famous Nolan North, whose other work includes Uncharted's adventurer Nathan Drake.
Best Line: "Dun di di DUN" (only kidding): "HANGING BY OUR FINGERS FROM A MOUNTAIN!"
I hope you've enjoyed this journey through the strange but entrancing world of video game music, and had a laugh or ten at these weird and wonderful songs.
Some may have made you question the sanity of their creators, but all are entertaining and contribute to the colorful tapestry that is gaming!
What are some of your favorite hilarious video game songs? Leave a line or two down in the comments!
Published: Sep 8, 2016 06:04 am