Predictions on the Inescapable, Inevitable: Justin Bieber The Game

Snoop Dogg has a video game.

Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus has six of them.

 ‘The Biebs’ has zero. You heard right, the cash cow that is Beiber has yet to release a video game.

Why doesn’t one of our time’s most succesful and crappiest teen stars have his own game yet?

It has to be on its way. Just imagine how it would sell. His albums have sold 13 million copies and the movie Never Say Never is close to $100 million at the box office. So we can conclude that it would sell. But what would it be like? Free to play? Console? Tablet?

For some clues, let’s take a look at other famous celeb games.

Miley Cyrus

HM The Game DS was the first Hannah Montana video game. There, a fan tries to reveal Cyrus’ alter ego and the gamer must be a Sherlock Holmes to stop that evil mastermind from carrying out their dastardly plot.

Maybe Bieber has an alter ego too? Maybe he is a she after all? But DS is so last season, so let’s forget it.

Then we have not one, not two, but five dance-and-play-an-instrument QTE games and you can dance with A DANCE PAD. Nah. Dance pads? Again, so last season. 

Miley, you should get better games instead of licking hammers and being naked.

Snoop Dogg

Snoop Dogg’s Way of The Dogg is (again) a quick time event game, but this time it has fighting and comic book style graphics. Bieber fighting would match his new bad boy style perfectly. But who would he fight against?

What about platform?

The smartest bet is mobile. Mobile games are very popular and the majority of “beliebers” have a smart(ish) phone. Consoles and making a console game will cost way too much. 

Why not a Temple Run copycat?

Bieber would run and avoid.. Haters? Drugs? Police?

Or maybe a Farmville-style free to play.

The gamer would build a city of beliebers and there would be merchandise stores, gigs, music of course and Bieber doing illegal street races and throwing eggs. Also he can be spotted walking on the streets and eventually running away from a herd of hyperventilating teens.

Let’s put them all together.

Bieber has a secret and a fan knows it. The fan will reveal it and the only one who can stop her/him is you. You’re the mayor of the city and you need to take care of it while fighting to keep Beiber’s secret safe. You can also play as Bieber and personally fight to get information on this mad and mysterious fan. Unfortunately moving from place to another is very dangerous, so you need you avoid assassins and drugs in a Temple Run style minigame. To skip fights, complete the game and get new abilities, buildings, money etc. you can buy in-game currency easily with PayPal or your mom’s Visa.

What do you think the Bieber game will look like?

Share your predictions in the comments!

The author is a sane Bieber hater. @Rouskulii