Swidt Hvitsön, son of the white Norn is a proud warrior on the battlefield, but when he gets to be alone he likes to practice a bit of magic. He might not be the best, but at least he has the drapes.
The Transformation
So for those of you who wish to undertake the same transformation here’s what you need.
- 4 Barrels of ale
- Bronzer, remember it must match your skin.
- Lipgloss, I prefer pink Diamon by Asuran Beauty.
- Your momma’s old drapes.
- Your momma’s old purse.
- And a wizzard hat (most impotant)
Before we start here’s a before and after shot!
Here’s the step I go through every night!
- Start by drinking a whole barrel of ale. We all know the magical powers come from ale and we need that magic asap so down the hatch with the ale.
- Now, as things are starting to blurr a bit we take off our normal… armor… *hic*…
- Put om some tight pants, and if they don’t fit (and the won’t) drink another barrel of ale! We all know the more ale you drink the slimmer you get.
- Sho, now it’sh time to… *hic*… shtrap on shome leather to the pants.
- Put on a coat… hold on a shecond, the ground is shhaking… I think I got it. Now put on a coat and shtrap it in with more leather.
- Now we should be able to cast some shpells. But just in case – we need to drink another barrel.
- *hic*… we now need …*hic*…need the purshe…*hic*… and the hat… *hic*… put on. And then we…
- *Zzzzz*
Conclusion.
It takes a real man to become a wizard. Every night I fight crime in Hoelbrak – I always end up in the morning so sore from all the crime. I tend to blackout, that’s how dangerous crime can be. Last night it was so crazy, I… I think I battled… well it will come back to me in a bit, but trust me when I say this Wanrering business ain’t for everyone!
So by night when you see a shadow moving, when you hear a squeek in the corner, it is I who lurk for I am vengeance, I am justice, I am BATM…
*cough*
... I mean, THE WANDERING WIZARD!
Published: Jul 18, 2013 04:37 pm