Fashion Fail: The Worst Dresspheres of FFX-2

While many of Final Fantasy X-2's dresspheres fall into the gorgeous fashion forward category, some of them are just weird or ugly as sin. Take Yuna's ultimate dressphere for a moment (pictured above). Floral Fallal resembles a Georgia O'keefe painting, which is a polite way to say it looks like a vagina. 

I could do a Freudian analysis on that all day long. Instead, I'm going to point out the fashion faux pas that Yuna, Paine, and Rikku were subjected to. Prepare yourself for the worst dresspheres of Final Fantasy X-2. 

Yes, the Mascot Dressphere is a real dressphere that you can subject your party to. Believe it or not, it is also one of the more useful dresspheres in the game, allowing each of your characters unique access to other dressphere skills.

While it may have many mechanical perks, this is truly the ugliest dressphere in the game. Many people never attempt to use it simply because you can't see Yuna, Rikku, of Paine's face while the dressphere is in effect.  

The only place this dressphere would fit in is a furry convention - and even then I'm not sure how sexy Moogles or Tonberrys would seem. 

This is the Alchemist Dressphere. On first look you may wonder why this is included on the list. The big guns and steampunk goggles are certainly accessories I approve of. Take a closer look at Paine's outfit. 

The colors are out of control on this outfit, like they took the leftovers from Rikku and Yuna's and then vomited those on Paine. She's also got the superhero underwear-over-pants thing going on. And those underwear are bright orange.

One outfit can ruin an entire dressphere, and Paine's is proof of this.  

And so, we continue the theme of Paine ruining dresspheres for everyone (although the easy solution is just not to use any of these on her). The Thief dressphere is one of the more scantily clad dresspheres in the game - for those of you who wanted to see Yuna naked. 

Now look closely at what Paine is wearing. Yes you get a nice hint of buttcheek through the nice thigh hole in her shorts, but now look more closely at the back. She has a ridiculous wedgie guys! No one would be able to fight like that. 

Also - the shoes. Between Rikku, Paine and Yuna - which developer thought that Paine should be the one in high heels? They don't go with this outfit, and continue to make a mockery out of Paine. 

Ruffles were apparently in when the Songstress Dressphere was created. They seem slightly overdone on Rikku's costume - although I do like the glittery headband. This is the dressphere we first meet Yuna in at the beginning of FF-X, so naturally she looks perfect in it. 

Then we get to the FFX-2 version of an Elvis impersonator. Elvis lives forever in Paine's rendition of the songstress dressphere. As the tomboy of the group, creators keep putting Paine in pants. 

This might work well if designers didn't continually bollocks the rest of her outfit. Paine could have been the next Tilda Swinton - looking fab as she androgynously dresses forever. Instead Paine's outfit, yet again, is a hot mess. 

Paine can take all the criticism because her ultimate dressphere doesn't look like a vagina. Full Throttle is instead the best looking ultimate of the game.

Paine swoops in like the dark angel she is, all hard lines and sharp swords. If this wasn't impossible to cosplay, I might dress like this at every convention I go to. It would certainly keep away the pervs (the swords would be sharp).   

She might be subject to the most dressphere fashion fails in FFX-2, but she will also have the least qualms about killing you on the spot if you dare to make fun of her.