Everyone's favorite man-child superhero finally has the film his fans deserve – which may, or may not be saying a lot. Deadpool's first feature film officially comes out today, but people have taken advantage of advance screenings and the reviews are rolling in. For the most part, everyone seems to love it -- the only exception being those who had apparently never heard about Deadpool and his chimichanga fetish before they were asked to review the film.
By all accounts, the new Deadpool movie is totally Deadpooly – and we're glad to hear that. Of course, Deadpool doesn't only appear in comic books and films. He's also made appearances in our media of choice – video games! As with his treatment in films, the quality of the games he's been in might be a tad questionable; but somehow the Merc with the Mouth's personality always manages to shine through.
So, in celebration of the movie we've all been waiting for we've decided to highlight all those times this anti-hero managed to make things as weird as possible in all the video games he's appeared in.
That time he truly understood your gamer feels...
“No XP? What a ripoff!”
And knew exactly which gamers he was speaking for...
“Explosions attract the coveted 18 to 24 year old male demographic.”
But wasn't afraid to point out the absurdity of game logic...
“Where do these bullets keep coming from?”
Yet still managed to pay tribute to our gamer roots...
“You have died of dysentery.”
(Marvel Heroes)
Those times he demonstrated why all the other superheroes love him so much.
By showing respect for women...
[Talking to Scarlet Witch] “More like the Scarlett Bi... Hey, hey, hey, I didn't see you there.”
And not pointing out personal features that they might be sensitive about...
[Talking to Ghost Rider] “Oh man, I forgot to bring the marshmallows.”
Or insulting their personalities...
[Talking to Punisher] “You're just me without the funny, and the lithium.”
And then wonders why he never gets those important phone calls…
[Referring to Hawkeye] “Oh, oh, so they're letting Robin Hood in, but somehow the Avengers keep losing my phone number. What's up with that?”
(Marvel Heroes)
Sometimes he just shows that the best friend – or worst enemy – anyone can have is themselves…
Deadpool: “See? Once again our explosive personality wins the day!”
Yellow Bubble: “High five!”
White Bubble: “No high fives. We're voices in our head.”
And that we should listen to those voices in our head…
Deadpool: “What? He said no? That was our chance to be in our own video game!”
White Bubble: “Maybe we shouldn't have written the proposal in crayon.”
But not all the time.
(Deadpool 2013)
All those times he demonstrated what a true culinarian he is…
“Phew! That's what happens when you mix C4 with a bean burrito. Now be honest... I'm not the only one with a little bit of shit in their pants right now, am I?”
Constantly reinventing our favorite foods…
“Mashed Braintatoes!”
And understanding that we just want a tasty deal…
“Two extra slices for just 9.99!”
He really, really gets it…
“My cuisine reigns supreme.”
(Marvel Heroes & Deadpool 2013)
When he proved he had excellent taste in friends…
[Talking about Weasel] “Oh, yeah, he's totally trustworthy! Except where money's involved. He would sell his granny's walking cane for a buck. In fact, I bought his granny's walking cane for a buck!”
I mean, impeccable taste…
Deadpool: “And I've made a lot of good friends along the way: like Arcade. He's always sending me to his amusement park.”
Arcade: “HELLO, Deadpool. Ready for a fun filled day in Murderworld?”
And that they couldn't have a better friend than him…
Deadpool: “Weasel old buddy! Where have you been hiding out?”
Weasel: “In the hospital, you stabbed me in the leg remember?”
Deadpool: “Oh yeah, but I had to, you were trying to steal my last Cheesy Puff”
Weasel: “It was my bag of Cheesy Puffs!”
Deadpool: “That's not how I remember it.”
(Marvel: Ultimate Alliance)
When he really wanted us to know he's better than Wolverine...
[After leveling up] “And now I'm better at doing whatever it is Wolverine does!”
And finally proved it…
“You see that? *That's* how you beat Wolverine, people. AND YOU DON'T EVEN NEED OPTIC BLAST!”
(Marvel: Ultimate Alliance)
Then there was the time he told the story of the entire Marvel universe…
“The day my father Odin banished me from Asgard, I was bitten by a vampire and had radioactive waste dumped into my eyes. To make matters worse, my mutant ability to control weather activated just as I was hit by a blast of gamma radiation.”
Before suddenly remembering what the actual question was...
“Nah, actually, I got this way by volunteering for the Weapon X program. They promised to cure my cancer. And they cured it all right, by giving me an outrageous healing factor. Then they labeled me psychotic and tossed me into a prison lab. So I escaped and became what some people might call a 'mercenary'. I prefer the title 'cleaner of the gene pool'.”
(Marvel: Ultimate Alliance)
Sometimes he's just brutally honest...
Welcome to Loserville. Population: You.
And is forced to be honest with himself...
Deadpool: Hey, did I enter the side show tent? 'Cause you look like the dog faced boy.
Dark Spider-Man: Oh, you are a wit, Deadpool... or at least half of one. Tell me, do the chicks go for your insane babble?
Deadpool: About as much as they go for your attempts at self-deprecating humor.
Dark Spider-Man: So then it doesn't work.
(Marvel: Ultimate Alliance)
Still... Somehow, he still manages to be the most adult person in the room...
I need help! And a pony!
And we can always count on him when there's work to be done...
[After Black Widow informs him that he has to fight Dr. Doom] Wait, we're going to fight Dr. Doom? No one told me we were going to fight Doom! I want my lawyer! I want my mummy! I want my lawyer's mummy!
(Marvel: Ultimate Alliance)
And sometimes, he's an outright poet...
A haiku, by Deadpool: I hate broccoli / And think it totally sucks / Why is it not meat?
Marvel: Ultimate Alliance
And there we have it! Ten times Deadpool couldn't have been any more Deadpooly in a video game if he tried. Somehow, I don't think he's trying all that hard.
Now, it's time for everyone to get ready to go see the movie, if you haven't already. It's supposed to be fantastic. Even Betty White thinks so.
Okay... So I just wanted an excuse to drop a video of Betty White being awesome -- and I don't think Deadpool would mind.
So, go enjoy the movie. Just remember... NO SPOILERS. We will come find you.
Published: Feb 12, 2016 02:45 pm