Four Hour Mobile Gaming Session Ruptures Breast Implants

“How do you even report that? ‘999, my tits have deflated!’?”

An unnamed woman in China was recently hospitalized due to a ruptured breast implant.

According to Xinhua (and PCGMedia because I’m terrible at reading Chinese), the woman had been lying in bed and playing an iOS game called Dragon Summon for four hours. She began feeling a pain in her chest and was subsequently rushed to hospital. The doctors reported that her breast implants (although there is no definite word on whether it was one or both) had ruptured due to pressure caused by being in a bad position for a long time.

The original article has used this as an opportunity to note the substantial rise in casual gaming and mobile games, as well as a chance to warn budding gamers of the dangers of bad posture while gaming.

Well, I guess if you thought repetitive strain injuries and carpal tunnel were the only things you had to watch out for…

If you ask me though, from the way this story has been spreading around China, this is just one in a number of sensationalist pieces that vilifies gaming for the harm it does the player. To me, it is less of a question about the impact of gaming (and bad posture) on your body, than it is a question of:

a) finding a fake tit that won’t explode from the weight of your own body

or 

b) making sure you go to your annual assessments with an experienced and qualified cosmetic surgeon that will check whether or not your plastic funbag investments are at bursting point.

It was noted that the woman had had her breast implants in for about five years. Well, first, I hope that she recovers soon with no complications. Second, I hope that she really has been going to her annual follow-ups and this isn’t just a case of negligence on her part. Third, if she has been, that they fire her doctor.

And lastly, that he doesn’t open a court case involving his inability to foresee that she would be spending her time exposing her breasts to the harmful effects of addictive gaming.

Because no one sees fake breasts and thinks of squeezing them. Really now.