The Worst Game Ever: Ninja Gaiden (NES)

I recognize this is heresy. Blasphemy for some, even. Indeed, I can even recognize the pivotal role Ninja Gaiden played in bringing a more cinematic flair to video games, but it only seems like a good game when viewed through the warm and fuzzy light of nostalgia. Moreover, if we are going to applaud a media product for its role in history, we’d see Birth of a Nation and Triumph of the Will atop a lot more film geeks’ favorite lists.

Ninja Gaiden was a game that mocked the player with its challenge.

There’s hard, and then there’s stupid.

I’m no fan of the modern trend toward games so easy a drunk cat rolling on a gamepad can accidentally get 100% achievements, but that doesn’t mean I’m a fan of the virtual equivalent of genital torture just because the technology didn’t exist and the creators weren’t innovative enough to craft an experience with play longevity due to something more interesting than being arbitrarily killed by  the space between two pixels.

Sure, there are “worse” games. Last year’s Duke Nukem was an abomination, but everyone saw that coming. Same with Daikatana. E.T. for the Atari? Don’t worry, your developers are still assured a spot in Satan’s fourth mouth. Ninja Gaiden on the NES is a hundred shades of awful in no small part BECAUSE of the adulation it receives from people whose memories of it exist alongside even weaker competition.