8 Funniest Anti-Piracy Mechanics of All Time in Gaming

Piracy has been a thing since the 80s when we got our hands on devices that could copy media, whether it’s a VHS tape, audio cassette, or anything else for that matter. It still thrives to this day, and some game developers have made (funny) mechanics to combat piracy.

8 Funny Ways the Game Developers Combatted Piracy

I’ve been through a lot of video games in the past three decades, and it’s been a big trifle to pick eight games for this list. Things start out pretty simple and basic, but it keeps getting crazier and crazier as you go deeper through the list.

Red Alert 2 – Your Base Self-Destructs

If the game detects that you’ve tampered with the “.exe” file (for the purposes of cracking it and bypassing the copyright protection), you will be able to play Red Alert 2 normally… for less than a minute. Why? Because your base (and all of the units) will randomly self-destruct, losing you the game. Naturally, hackers found a way around that as well, but it was a hilarious thing to deal with.

Mirror’s Edge – Your Character Slows Down

In a game where jumping from one building to another in parkour style while getting away from the bad guys, speed and timing are the key. If you pirated the game, your character won’t be able to achieve the maximum speed at times, disallowing you from progressing further. Bonus style points because players with pirated copies complained online about the issue that’s exclusive to such a copy of the game, outing themselves as pirates.

Batman: Arkham Asylum – You Don’t Have Your Gliding Ability

OK, this is straight-up evil. Batman can glide with his mighty cape and maneuver around more easily. None of this would be problematic if not for the section of the game where you simply must use the glide ability to get to the other side. “BUY THE GAME” was a common response to players complaining about this “bug” on various message boards.

Garry’s Mod – Error Code That Makes You Out Yourself as a Pirate

If you pirate Garry’s Mod, you will keep getting a completely random error paired with some seemingly random numbers. Then, the natural course of action is to submit this error with these random numbers on the Garry’s Mod forums, only to learn that you got trapped by Garry Newman, author of GMOD. The random number is your Steam ID, which can be banned, thus locking you out of the pirated version of the game. Hilarity ensued on the forums, and many pirates got caught this way.

The Talos Principle – Hope You Don’t Have Claustrophobia

CroTeam is known for its approach to piracy matters for two games, and both have made this list. In The Talos Principle, if you are playing the pirated version of the game, you will be stuck in an elevator indefinitely, won’t be able to get out, and thus, won’t be able to progress through the game. That’s a pretty interesting way to provide a “free playable demo” to the masses, in a sense.

Serious Sam 3 – Hope You Don’t Have Arachnophobia

CroTeam delivers once again in their hit game Serious Sam 3, where the “anti-piracy feature” consists of Scorpions that keep coming out of nowhere, are equipped with machine guns, and will constantly attack you. The funniest part? You can’t get rid of them. They have god mode on, so good luck beating the game with them. Oh wait, there are people who recorded speedruns of the game with the infamous “DRM Scorpions,” so it is possible after all.

Manhunt – All Sorts of Shenanigans Happen

Manhunt is a game that indeed raised some eyebrows when it first came out due to the sheer violence you can perpetuate, but the anti-piracy measures and the recent events with the digitalization of the game’s availability have earned the vice-champion title in my book.

If you pirate Manhunt, some (or all) of the following will happen:

• Doors will be randomly locked.
• Painkillers may crash the game if you pick them up.
• Keyboard input just stops being accepted.
• Levels won’t load properly.
• Ammo and other pickups will randomly disappear.
• You’ll take increased damage.
• and many more…

So, this looks like a pretty goofy cartoon prank experience, right? What if I told you that during the process of making Manhunt available on Steam, the developers just removed the first layer of anti-piracy measures, effectively making it almost as if they were selling a pirated copy of their own game?

Steam forums were full of questions pertaining to many of the “bugs” listed above, and it went so far that a community mod was necessary to make the game playable. At least the PC modding community never disappoints.

Game Dev Tycoon – The Ultimate Irony of it All

There’s no way I wouldn’t place this game as the #1 on this list. Game Dev Tycoon is a business simulation game where you are a young and aspiring game developer who starts from his room (basement, garage, attic, what have you). Gradually, you work your way to the top of the AAA folks (as if the threshold is too difficult these days), but there is a small glitch in the Matrix when you are playing a pirated version of the game.

If you are running a cracked version of Game Dev Tycoon, your games will be pirated significantly more. It’s a subtle measure that sends a clear message to the players: “If you can’t make money within a video game by making video games due to pirates, imagine how it feels when you are a game dev in real life and your work gets stolen from you.” It’s absolutely fitting, ironic, and iconic. And, of course, there are people who challenge themselves to do a speedrun despite this seemingly insurmountable hurdle. I mean, why not?

If you are up for more features of ours, check out Facing My Steam Pile of Shame Wasn’t That Bad — What About Yours?