You may have recently heard that Slowbro is getting a Mega Evolution in the upcoming games Pokemony Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire. Everyone’s excited about this…except for maybe Slowbro.
If you’re a regular Pokemon fan, you’ll know that the Slowpoke family dates back to the original 151 Pokemon, but really got its 15 minutes of fame when Slowpoke became the first Pokemon with an official music video.
The music video featured smooth reggae with weird images.
What else would you expect from a Slowpoke video?
Prior to the video, Slowpoke also played a major role in Pokemon (Heart)Gold and (Soul)Silver as damsels in distress. Team Rocket was getting up to no good in Azalea Town, so our plucky young hero had to step in and teach those Rockets a thing or two.
They’re slow enough that even Team Rocket – one of the most inept group of villains ever – were able to catch a buttload and cut off their tails.
However, if Slowpokes were so lame, why would Ash, Misty, and Brock dress up in Slowpoke costumes? Answer me that!
Honestly Ash, Brock and Misty are a trio of utter goofballs, so their donning of Slowpoke costumes might not be an accurate reflection on the awesomeness of the Slowpoke family.
It’s kinda hard to convince people of the Slowpoke wow factor when the only time Slowpokes move with speed is when they’re dodging evolution.
You see, Slowpoke evolve when Shellders bite their tails. Which is still one of the strangest reasons for Pokemon evolution I know. Why would Slowpoke run away from this evolution? They’re afraid of their potential power.
All Slowpokes know, deep down, that their transformation from Slowpoke to Slowbro will make all the other Pokemon stop laughing at them. That’s why Slowbro is always smiling.
Not only that, but Slowbro is the perfect combination of silly yet powerful. Slowbro’s motto is “Let people think I’m dumb so I can confuse, paraylze, and lull them to sleep before I make them faint.”
You can see this strategy demonstrated below by Professor Westwood V’s Slowbro, which evolved in the Pokemon Anime Episode called “The Evolution Solution”.
See? This Slowbro does the whole Groot dancing motion before landing a right hook in your Pokemon’s face.
KABAM!
Honestly, this GIF is the only one I needed to show you to prove my point. Sure we see lots of different Pokemon take on Team Rocket, but rarely do we get to see a Pokemon punch Jesse, James, and Meowth in the face.
Plus, slowbro can cook! They’re a very well-rounded Pokemon species that is useful around the house (or making you money) and fighting.
Judging from this GIF, Slowbro probably isn’t the best at emotional support. You’d probably better visit a Chansey or Audino if you want to be mollycoddled by a Pokemon.
Still, Slowbro could probably cheer you up any day by busting a move like this:
With his smooth moves, goofy demeanor, and power punches, there’s no denying that we needed more Slowbro in the upcoming games…in a mega way.
Published: Sep 4, 2014 01:34 pm